discusting_pain

i was Doing amazing up unitl yesterday i i epic fail..

Breakfast: Nothing
Lunch: Pizza crust And a cup of fries =/ [ i kno im horrible]
Dinner: bowl of rice, crackers, 5 pieces of chicken !

WHY CANT I JUST STOP AFTER ONE BITE UGh i hate this and to top it all off.....
we have pictures for cheerleading tomorrow..oh joy =/

My goal weight is now 140 by the end of this week since im back up to 145

So my gw is to be 135 by the 19th for sure

today was ok i guess better then the rest of the week

break- half a fuze,peice of gum, 5 crackers, 6 weat thins= 105
lunch - Half a turkey sub with lettace cheese and bread, 3 fries, quater cup of corn, half a fuze = 700 [BLECH!]
and now i have to go have a glass of chocolate milkin order to keep from bindging tonight
so ive had about 800  cals
but i burned off a good 700 i think today i road my bike for an hour

but wish me luck tonight im going to the mall.....food is everywhere there =[

Fuck My Life ......

thats all i have to say

So Im back down to 145 still fat though
today i ate a few fries and then a peice of poptart
but other then that nothing
this is very good for me

Working out tomorrow after schools out and def. skippin lunch
ive agreed to a 5 day fast
have to look semi ok for junior prom

ANOREXIA

[x] you don't eat breakfast

[x] you don't eat lunch.
[x] you have starved yourself.
[x] you have low self esteem.
[x] most people say you starve yourself.
[x] you just hate to eat things with a lot of fat.
[] people say you're fine and don't need to stop eating, but you disagree.
[x] you always make sure your not eating things with high calories + sugars

Total: 7

ADHD

[ x] you are hyper most of the time.
[ ] you barely pay attention to anything.
[ ] you cannot cooperate with people well.
[] you seem to never sit still.
[x ] you talk all the time.
[ ] you need attention 24/7.
Total: 2


BIPOLAR DISORDER

[x] you can act wild at times then the next day you are severely depressed.
[x] you barely get any or no sleep.
[ ] you have very high self esteem at times.
[] you have abused alcohol, drugs, or sex.
[x] you have VERY bad mood swings

Total: 3


BULIMIA NERVOSA

[x] you've thrown up all of your food.
[x] you have thrown it up even when you don't feel sick.
[ ] you have no control over how you eat.
[ ] you use laxatives.
[] you eat fast.
[x] you have overly exercised to where you almost fainted/passed out.
[x] you always say you are fat, when people say you aren't.
Total: 4


CONDUCT DISORDER

[ ] you are a bully.
[ ] you threaten other people.
[ ] you often find yourself in fights.
[ ] you have used a weapon that could cause injury to others.
[ ] you are cruel to humans and/or animals.
[ ] you have raped/molested someone.
[ ] you destroy property on purpose.
[x] you have lied before.
[x ] you've stayed out all night.
[ ] you have ran away from home.
Total: 2


DEPRESSION

[x ] you are always sad.
[x ] you always are crying.
[] you no longer find excitement over the activities you used to love.
[] you always find yourself around the house or in bed all day.
[] you can be anti-social.
[x] at times you have low self esteem.
[x ] everything bad that happens is always your fault.
Total: 4


OCD

[x] you have had some disturbing thoughts or thoughts you hate.
[x] you have to do a certain thing until it feels right.
[x] you have to keep things in a certain order.
[x] you have harmed yourself.
[x] you are afraid you will get a STD, HIV-AIDS or any kind of germs.
[x] you have to check some stuff over again.
Total: 6


SCHIZOPHRENIA

[ ] you often have hallucinations.
[ ] you can be confused about reality and fantasy.
[x] you think people are always staring or talking about you.
[x] you have extreme anxiety or fearfulness
[ ] you do not take care of your hygiene like you should.
[x ] you are shy

total:3

 Well yesterday i had 2 turkey sandwiches
with only bread and 3 slices of turkey 
then i had 7 9 pizza bites
thats wasnt good at all 
its was just sickening haveing to eat it
ugh i hope i can stay on track!!!

I NEED SOME HELP GUYS!
ANY SUGGESTIONs???

 So yeah 2 day wasnt good 
i had 2 walfles this morning with syrup cause 
my friend made me eat
and for dinner i had a sandwich 
with 3 slicees of turkey on it

and thats it 
them walfes have been on my mind all day and it sucks 
cause i dont like purging so i stay away from it
but its eating away at me and i feel i let my self down
but yeah i disided to go for the 2468 diet
but yeah im going to hang out with te guy i like alo t this week end

saturday we are going to graduation 2 gether 
then a party that night
then church in the morning 
just though id share th at with you =]